Hello there! Come in! Welcome to The Dragon’s Beard. With Father’s Day right around the corner, old Balbo was just sitting here thinking about all the amazing, interesting, and wise fathers that have been recorded in the magical motion artwork you call movies and television in your realm.

Some of the fathers depicted in these stories guided their children well. Others protected them to the bitter end. While our fathers (and theirs) may be ever-present in the back of our minds, it is time to honor them all, starting with these famous fantasy fathers.   

Professor Henry Jones Sr.

You may remember Professor Henry Walton Jones Sr. as a leading fictional character in the Indiana Jones movie franchise. He was a professor of medieval studies at Princeton University and an author of many books. Professor Jones is a man fully obsessed with finding the Holy Grail. He’s also the father of Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones, Jr., otherwise known as Indiana Jones or “Indy.”

Professor Jones taught his son well and bonded with him through a mutual love of history and antiquities. He is calm and collected and has a general distaste for violence.

What would we suggest giving him for Father’s Day?

How about a new iPad (do you think he would use it?) to keep his notes in and this Ranger beard oil to help style his beard while out in the arid deserts.

Mufasa

King of the Pride Lands. Mufasa is just, wise, and a respected leader. He is the lion that all other lions want to be. Mufasa teaches his son Simba everything there is to know about being a good king. He also teaches him the importance of balance in the ecosystem they live in. Mufasa would do anything to protect his son and he died saving him from a wildebeest stampede.

Mufasa is a perfect example of a protective and wise father, regardless of only being a fictional character in the movie Lion King.

What would we suggest giving him for Father’s Day?

A high-quality lunch tote bag with a metal thermos to keep food safe and water nice and cold in. Along with that, some barbarian beard butter to keep those flyaway whiskers under control.

Ned Stark

The head of the House of Stark. Ned may have only spent a short time on screen in Game of Thrones, but his children shaped the lands of Westeros after him and with many of the ideals and morals he taught them.

Known as a virtuous and honorable man, Ned is loved by his people. He’s happy to stay far away from the trouble and corruption that soaks the throne and would rather be home with his family than anything else. Regardless, Ned has responsibilities to the throne and heeds it when he is called.

Ned has raised Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon. He also raised Jon Snow as an illegitimate son (which was not even true). Ned did his sister a solid and pretended Jon was his son, which created a rift between Ned and his wife. He’s such a good dad that he was doing extra fake dad duty too!

What would we suggest giving him for Father’s Day?

How about tickets to a baseball game? Something he could sit back, have a beer, and enjoy with his kids. If there is a fly ball hit out into the stands, just be considerate if you see him at the game, and don’t yell “heads up!” Also, we’d get him some cleric beard oil, he deserves a relaxing scent. 

Zeus

The God of the heavens and the ruler of Mount Olympus. Zeus survived his own father, who was eating all his siblings, when his mother tricked him and wrapped a stone in a blanket. After his father’s death, Zeus went on to rule. During his rule, Zeus took human form and fell in love with (and impregnated) Danaë, who later gave birth to his son Perseus.

Once an adult, Perseus was faced with many trials. But his father was always there to guide and support him (albeit from a distance). Zeus provides Perseus with a magical helmet from Athena, which allowed the wearer to turn invisible. Zeus also sent him a magic sword from Aphrodite and a shield from Hera.

When his son was weak, he gave him strength. When he needed tools to complete his mission, he provided them. And in the end, Zeus informed all the other gods that they cannot seek vengeance against his son.

That’s a damn good dad.

What would we suggest giving him for Father’s Day?

Zeus could use a spa day, right? He’s already wearing a towel. 😊 Throw in some nice rogue beard butter which he can also use as a cologne. You know he’ll be flirting with the massage therapists.

Duke Leto

Duke Leto Atreides I, The Red Duke, Leto the Just, is the twentieth Duke of the House Atreides. When ordered to take control of the planet of Arrakis by the Emperor, he does his duty and moves his family to this valuable wasteland of a world.

The planet and the movie are more commonly known as DUNE. Duke Leto is a fictional character in the movie and books and a good dad.

A fair man, the people of Arrakis begin to prosper under his rule. He continues to see to his son, Paul’s training and when the Harkonnens return to Arrakis and attack, he gives himself up to protect his son. His hopes are that if he can keep the Harkonnen busy, Paul can escape.

Duke Leto gives his life so that his son can live. Later, his son, “the sleeper,” awakes and fulfills his destiny as messiah. 😊

What would we suggest giving him for Father’s Day?

How about a new tooth! Sorry, could not resist. Maybe a gift card to his favorite barbershop? We’d also suggest some wizard beard oil because he’s a classy-looking gentleman that should smell as good as he looks.

Conclusion

All of these fantasy fathers are rocking stunning beards. Which leads us to ask the question, which came first, the expert-level fathering skills, or the glorious beards? We may never know.

While your father may not be searching for the Holy Grail, ruling a galactic empire, or knee-deep in political intrigue, we bet he is working hard. So, consider giving him a gift that he will enjoy and will help him look his best.