THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
Sorry, we’re closed.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
I said we’re closed. No one is here!
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
The sounds of locks and bolts can be heard rattling about before the door creaks slowly open.
Oh, hello there, friend! Come inside quickly! Ho! Look at you! It looks like you have a week’s worth of hard travel on you. Please, sit down.
My name is Balbo Garibaldi and on any other night my fine establishment, The Dragon’s Beard, would be full of patrons, song, and merriment. But not tonight. Tonight, the realm’s warlocks have gathered in the town’s center to celebrate.
While they perform their rituals, the goodly people of this town have locked themselves inside their homes. Better safe than witness to some diabolical warlock’s scheme or spell. I’d hate to see you shambling about in the streets, enthralled, and transformed into some sort of imp.
Do not get me wrong, I respect the warlock class as much as I fear it. Ha! Well, perhaps my feelings about those wicked spellcasters are not entirely equally balanced. I’ve had an unfortunate run-in or two with them, ahhhh feels like a lifetime ago…but that’s a story for another time.
Warlocks are not all bad (or are they?). Yes, many have formed pacts with demons and other ungodly beings, haven’t they? True, we understand that warlocks like to research and unlock ancient knowledge with the help of timeless evil beings, but these wicked wizards and their sickening powers can be…helpful…when forming a solid adventuring party.
Warlock Weapons and Armor
Warlocks are spellcasters, so they wear light armor like other wizards, mages, and sorcerers. Cloth and leather armor seem to be their preferences. Do not be surprised to find them wearing some sort of traditional or ceremonial robe covered in ancient runes which spell out the names of the ruthless demons they are in league with. *Ahem* Sorry.
Unlike some other magic users, warlocks can often be found carrying daggers or short one-handed swords.
Have you seen their daggers, my friend? Whoa. They’re twisted and made of dark and sometimes glowing metals…their blood-soaked points like the fangs of…
Oh, where was I? Yes, I remember.
Many races can decide to become a warlock, but some of the best choices are Dwarves, Tieflings, Orcs, and Humans. In many games, you will find that the races which are considered “evil” are more readily available to be assigned to the warlock class.
Video games have many good examples of warlocks from different races. For example, the undead of World of Warcraft, or a very famous Dark Lord from the Gerudo people in the Legend of Zelda games.
Deception and perception are key, so common backgrounds include charlatan, criminal, urchin, and sailor.
Urchin can be very helpful if the team does not have a rogue. Then, your warlock can have “sticky fingers” for reasons more than their hands being forever coated in the blood of… No. No. No. I am sorry. Old Balbo is doing his best not to judge.
Doing his best and failing! Ha!
What Makes a Good Warlock?
If you have chosen to play a spellcaster then you have already accepted the great challenge of starting off at a disadvantage.
You will begin most games as weak, frail, or squishy—whatever term feels right to you.
One hit may kill you. But you know that going in. You have probably chosen to play a warlock because, while similar to other magic-users, they are also greatly different in how they derive their power.
In D&D, they are charisma-based arcane spellcasters. And in World of Warcraft, they like to drain mana and life from their enemies to refill their own.
Yes, if you have a wicked streak, you will likely make (and enjoy) a good warlock.
Want to Reward the Warlocks Who Do the Deeds We Cannot?
Do it with a Beard Oil that matches their wickedness.
I hope I have not swayed your feelings about the warlock class. Yes, they may make pacts with The Undying or The Fathomless…but they also make excellent teammates. Better the devil you know, right?
Tabletop Beard has released a beard oil that we believe matches the warlock class perfectly.
So, after much exploration, study, trials and…sacrifice…a new scent was born out of the burning pits of the underworld. Behold! A beard oil that’s aroma is filled with chocolate, cherries, and just a hint of dark magic. Some might say that sounds, “chaotically delicious.”
Embrace your wickedness with the new warlock beard oil and butter!