From the God of War himself

Greetings, mortals, gamers, and beard growers! It is I, Ares, the fierce and mighty God of War. While you may know me for my prowess on the battlefield, my unyielding strength, and my strategic genius, there is another aspect of my godly existence that deserves your admiration: my magnificent beard.

Allow me to take you through the rituals and techniques that ensure my beard remains as majestic as my reputation. For even a god must take time to care for his appearance, and a beard as splendid as mine does not come without effort.

The Importance of a Divine Beard

A beard is not merely an adornment; it is a symbol of power, wisdom, and virility. For a god such as myself, it signifies authority and commands respect. My beard, with its flowing, dark tendrils, strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies and garners admiration from my allies.

The Ritual of Cleansing

The first step in maintaining a beard worthy of a god is cleanliness. After a long day of battle and glory, it is essential to cleanse the beard of blood, sweat, and the remnants of victory. I immerse myself in the sacred waters of the River Styx, allowing the powerful currents to cleanse my beard thoroughly. For you mortals, a gentle yet effective beard wash like the one Tabletop Beard provides will suffice. You can rest assured, when it is from the wizards at Tabletop Beard, it is free from harsh chemicals! Yes, your beard hair must be treated with reverence.

Conditioning for Strength

A beard must not only look powerful but also be strong and resilient. After cleansing, I apply divine concoctions of beard oils and butters, prepared by none other than my wise friends here at Tabletop Beard. These oils infuse the hair with strength and vitality, preventing breakage and ensuring each strand remains robust. Mortals can achieve similar results with a high-quality beard oil, rich in natural ingredients such as sunflower, avocado, and golden jojoba oil.

The Art of Combing

To maintain my beard’s majestic flow, it must be combed with precision and care. I use a comb of legend and fable forged from the finest celestial metal, its teeth perfectly aligned to detangle and shape each hair. But you may use one from a mortal store. Begin from the roots and work your way to the tips, ensuring that the beard remains tangle-free and immaculate. A wooden or metal comb of superior craftsmanship will serve you well.

Trimming for Perfection

Even a god’s beard requires regular trimming to maintain its shape and prevent unruliness. Using a blade blessed by Hephaestus, the god of blacksmiths, I trim my beard with meticulous care, sculpting it into a form that conveys both power and elegance. Mortals should invest in a sharp, high-quality pair of scissors or a beard trimmer, and approach the task with patience and precision.

 Styling with Purpose

The final step in my beard-care routine is styling. A beard must reflect the god who wears it: fierce, commanding, and dignified. I use a special wax infused with the essence of ambrosia, crafted by the muses themselves, to shape and hold my beard nicely in place. This ensures that it remains flawless, no matter the chaos of battle. For mortals, a beard balm expertly crafted by Tabletop Beard will provide excellent hold and nourishment.

The Aura of Confidence

Caring for my beard is not merely a matter of vanity; it is an act of preparation for the challenges and triumphs that lie ahead. With each stroke of the comb and each drop of oil, I fortify myself, ready to face any adversary with unwavering confidence. For you mortals, remember that a well-groomed beard is a testament to your discipline and self-respect. Wear it proudly, and let it be a reflection of your inner strength.

In conclusion, the art of beard care is no fable, it is a sacred practice, one that transcends the realms of gods and mortals alike. Follow these divine rituals, and with the help of Tabletop Beard, you too may achieve a beard worthy of admiration. Now, go forth and conquer, with the knowledge that your beard, like mine, is a symbol of your power and greatness.

Yours in strength and beard care style,

Ares, God of War