On Christmas Eve, while the tavern was stirring,
Old Balbo saw old Ms. Miller, and he swore she was purring.
Good evening, Lady Miller, how be you tonight?
When she suddenly leaned in for a kiss, Balbo put up his hands for a fight.
Ms. Miller, what are you doing?
You know I can’t go around kissing all my customers, the barmaids would start booing!
She looked disappointed and spit on his right leather boot,
What did I do wrong? He’d asked, but the topic was moot.
As Balbo walked away, his mind would not stop.
Until skipping across the room, he watched Evelyn flop.
Hey Balbo, I got a question for you? she asked.
What is It, Evelyn, have you completed all that I have tasked?
I did. I did. All but the mistletoe hung above the door.
I left you a note on the box of sprigs, Balbo. Did you find it on the floor?
I found it. No worries. It was done.
I hung them up, Evelyn. Every last one.
You hung them all up, Balbo? Are you sure?
You didn’t leave one on the table, maybe forgot one on the floor?
I’m positive, now let me be.
There’s a big celebration tonight, I should check if there are enough gifts under the tree.
Balbo wandered away, while listening to Evelyn giggle.
He wondered what sort of naughtiness she was up to, when she was being bad, her hips always had an extra wiggle.
When Balbo set his eyes straight, they fell on the Widow, Stevens the hag.
She always looked like a corpse and smelled just as bad.
May I help you, Lady Stevens? He asked. Is there something you need?
Pucker up, Balbo, on your lips I must feed!
Balbo staggered back with fright.
What the hell is wrong with this crazy night?
He looked about the tavern, then met Evelyn’s eyes.
When he saw the size of her smile, he let out some sighs.
Evelyn! He bellowed like a roaring mountain lion.
As she approached, she was laughing so hard she was practically cryin’.
What is going on here? He asked. You seem to know!
Balbo, sometimes it shocks me, Evelyn giggled. You’re as dull as a giant’s toe.
Evelyn stepped up to Balbo and gave him a long kiss.
What’s that for? What is this?
While staring deep in his eye, Evelyn reached out and touched his face.
She’s never stroked my beard before, I hope there is no haste.
Her fingers twisted and turned and then suddenly popped out with a fresh mistletoe spring.
Balbo, you’ve been wearing mistletoe in your beard like mud on a pig.
Well, Balbo groaned, no wonder the ladies were all chasing me for a kiss,
Evelyn laughed. You dodged a few, tonight, Balbo, but my kiss did not miss.